Saturday, June 6, 2009

Southbound Train (May 24)

I've been feeling kind of weird lately. I didn't really even know how to put it in to words, but then I remembered this song... and its the only thing I could think of that makes sense to my mood lately, or where I'm at in life this moment (although, I think I feel this way a lot, but more now than ever). 

Southbound Train
Jon Foreman

Oh, I guess they'll say I've grown
I know more than I wanted to know
I've said more than I wanted to say

I'm headed home
Yeah, but I'm not so sure
That home is a place you can still get to by train

So I'm looking out the window 
And I'm drifting off to sleep with my face pressed up against the pane 
With the rhythm of my heart 
And the ringing in my ear
Its the rhythm of the Southbound Train

Over and over I hear the same refrain
Its the rhythm of my heart 
Its they rhythm of the Southbound Train

Oh, I suppose they'll say I should've known 
Or maybe I'm just feeling old
Like a lawyer
With no one to blame

I'm headed home
Yeah I'm not so sure
That home is a place 
That will ever be the same

So we gather up out things 
And we head out in the cold
And your eyes are where you carry the pain
When I head the whistle weeping 
Its a cry to the sky
Its the rhythm of the Southbound Train

Its the end of a school year. I've dealt with so much new stuff that I haven't been around or experienced before. I'm the same, but I'm also different.  I'm trying to decide what to do with everything I experienced and learned. I feel like I have all of this stuff handed to me and now I have to figure out what to think about it, what to do about it, and how to move on and process everything. For lack of a better term I just feel weird, and I feel like life is going to take off again going from zero to sixty in under three seconds very soon.  I'm scared I won't be able to hold on, or if I do when it ends I'm scared that I'll be so shaken by the ride that I won't know what to do next.

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