Monday, July 27, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
I was listening to a song today and it put a piece of imagery in my mind and made me realize something.
The lyrics say, "Do you want to see it? The place where I was free." (20 years by Augustana)
It made me think of when I was free, if even I could see it somewhere in my memory. To be honest such a place is very hard to see or remember, kind of like trying to sort through the hazy memory of a dream.
I have always known that I was a very guarded person (which is something I have been trying to fix/ figure out for some time now). But I have also come to realize that something related to the guardedness (though not completely) is that I also have, metaphorically of course, locked myself in a cage. Much like the one Holly Golightly is in Breakfast at Tiffany’s....
“You call yourself a free spirit, a "wild thing," and you're terrified somebody's gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you're already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it's not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somali-land. It's wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself.” Fred/ Paul.
The ball and chain is more like baggage and realizing limitations (that either are real or not).
So... to complete and clarify my metaphor here... I feel like I'm surrounded by a wall (that I built), while enclosed in a cage (that I locked myself in), and held down by a ball and chain (that I allow to remain attached to my feet).
I think we are all like that to an extent and we don’t even realize it.
What would we live like if we were free? I think it’s a lovely idea J
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
and you learn that love doesn't mean security,
and you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises.
and you begin to accept your defeats with you head up and your eyes open.
with the grace of maturity, not the grief of a child.
and you learn to build all your roads on
today because tommorow's ground is too uncertain for plans,
and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
after awhile you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
so you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
and you learn that you really can endure...
that you really are strong
and that you really do have worth.
and you learn and learn and learn ....
with every goodbye you learn.”
~ veronica a. shoffstal