I kind of feel like I am stuck in a silent tug of war.
This war is only remotely demoralizing and tiring; nothing too severe. It seems pointless at times, but I don't want to let go. It gives me something, yet I'm not sure what. Thats why I give it a chance and have not let go yet.
I can only hope that I will win or I will be strengthened from this daily test of my strength instead of only falling deeper into this tired and hardhearted state. I hope I will learn. I hope I will grow. I hope the best will come out of this.