Old pair of shoes

Love shouldn't be like trying on different pairs of shoes until we find the ones we like best.

In our culture we think its ok to just try a bunch on... every one that looks like it could work... we try on wear out and then throw out and move on to the next. The part that bothers me most is the wearing out and tossing aside.

Its ok for shoes... not people. We aren't made like that and should not conform to this ideal of society.


It is such a sad feeling to think that you had something once that you will never have again. Maybe the not knowing one way or the other is the worst part.

I can relate....

I have no one I can confide in.
I have no one that I can say our friendship is still the same.
I have no one.



No one except for the One.
And that's okay.
I just feel lonely sometimes.
Even though I will never be alone.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/alliehine/3866008801/in/photostream/

A Streetcar Named Desire

I was reading Streetcar Named Desire because I wanted to read something by Tennessee Williams at the moment, and I love the opening quote before it starts:

"And so it was I entered in the broken world
To trace the visionary company of love, its voice
An instant wind (I know not whither hurled)
But not for long to hold each desperate choice"
- The Broken Tower by Hart Crane

When you get what you want....

There is a special kind of loneliness that comes when you get what you want. Even things getting things you need in life can be a lonely feeling. After that phase of surprise that something finally went right it passes and you begin to realize the bitter in the sweet.

Trust

I have such an uneasy sense of not being able to trust right now.

I just don't really feel like I have any reason to support trust at the moment.
Its not a great feeling, and I'm wondering if it will go away. I hope this will change.
I'll hope for some hope....

Coming home

I couldn't really see it when I was there. Maybe I could a little closer to the end. I didn't think anything would change. I didn't think anything would get better or be accomplished by leaving on that adventure to France. I was so wrong.

I learned so much. My eyes were opened and I am renewed, which is the best feeling. Not only is is a good feeling (because those come and go), but it is good. It is good for me, and for the people around me.

That gives me the joy kind of happiness.

the best part about leaving is just that. The leaving. Sure to be followed by hard work, adventure, and of course the coming home.

And after all is said and done that is the best part. :)

No one.

As all these bridges burn I find that there is no where left to turn.

I didn't want to turn to them in the first place, but now I don't have anyone.

Which is worse?

I build a wall. Then you pushed me down and didn't even try to break my fall.

"No one really ever wins in Heartbreak Warfare...."